if i get to go to heaven, i want to walk in and see God in the middle of his hourly puppet show demonstrating the demise of mankind. boyscouts will assist him with the props. when he gets to the apocolypse, god will pull out a squirt bottle filled with red dye and spray it on the audience, making explosion noises with his lips. everyone will scream just like they do in the splash-zone at sea-world because before-hand god tells them, "in reality, the lava would burn your fresh apocolyptic wounds." when the puppet show is over we will break into teams for the ropes-course where we will use teamwork to decide how to communicate to dolphins to bring jerry back from hell (using only an erector set and a pair of polarized magnets). but my team will lose and we will have to clean up the mess hall during crafts. it is lunchtime. i hear a man: i mean, i'm a good businessman, a good friend, i'm a GREAT father i love my kids so much. i have joint custody, but felicia...she doesn't respect the kids. they're little women now. and i said, "felicia, baby.." today is my birthday. my existence is not one large explosion of activity. but the sky smells like fire. 
apocolypse NOW!!
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