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in the midst of a filmstrip in my head (a family sliding down a fire-poll to attend the church potluck) a friendly voice interrupts and tells me places to be at certain times and while he is articulating i notice how geometrically angular his persona is, and how i really don't want to go anywhere with him. i notice i emit the worst kind of laughter when around him. the obvious kind of laughter that is not needed except to advertise one's hollowed presence. that sort, where you know my person but only because i SAY you know me, when really i have no emotion for you to understand me by save this unemotionally attached laughter that sort of happens and then stops happening, which might conceivably contain emotion in its own absense of emotion; of which is characterized by having the snotgreen ephemeral unappeal of junebugs. except ephemeral junebugs that laugh for the sheer activity of renewing themselves to public attention. because i have grown completely nonverbal. because i think about the shifting winds during our milk break. daysleeper. i am elsewhere. late afternoon. the house. woke up inhaling purified air and exhaling little lumps of charcoal that chink on the tile, sounds like ice issuing at an annoyance from a malfunctioning refrigerator. i take and give nothing back and for this i apologize.
by The JavaScript Source
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