car smells like middle school and limes. the world fills with water and glabbing red car brakelights and the car windows all around us fog with light breath that comes out in peppermint bubbles and brown apple seeds. my hands they hurt from the cactus i stole off the hill on byrd street for the soft forest to understand the mean desert and i wish i could be brave and tell myself i will not lose my mind even if i cry on the schoolbus and listen to my eyelashes blink against the palms of my hands. the first time i remember listening to my eyelashes move like that was in kindergarten, and i am strapped tightly into the mini van with my burger-king crown on after eating lunch while mother outside yanks on the chord to shut the garage door. i kick my feet back and forth because i had these tiny bells on my shoelaces that day that makes me think of the forest and then this bump sound happens outside and suddenly mother is on her back with big round bubbles of spit coming from everywhere on her face while i sit behind my seatbelt looking at her from the car window. my burger-king crown slips down just over my eyes and i sit there just listening to my eyelashes blink in the dark wondering when she will get up again. but it is november the 8th and the car i am riding in evaporates into the fog. we cant find “the show” for a long long time and swim around the flooded city in pruney skins and my pants are very very wet. i am sleepy on the way home but you are my grossest friend and i love you, i say, and this shouldn’t end while the magpies and misers loom at me here.
and i want to take a pin and prick things so that they will emit the high c# of a clarinet to show they are alive and that i love them like i love the lighthouses on the east coast and the old man twins with the hair coming from their nostrils that swing in tire swings at the tippy top top of the lighthouse on a black beach at night laughing ‘yuh-hoohoo’ as they slip from the tire and land in the listerine ocean forever and ever.
old man twins
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