i had a plan unfolded in my head that involved walking about the streets of the town while everyone i know is stewing about in marroon pews and their breath smells of grape-juice and potluck casseroles.

it involved SNEAKING around buildings and throwing my church bulletin into the gutters while choral hymns seeped from the swinging doors and the sun shine shinied down onto my sneaking head. it would have been a very sneaky thing to do.

(I AM FULL OF MISCHIEF.)

here is what happened: i am at the door while angels sing in the loft. and then i am OUT of the door and strutting purposefully as a business career woman towards the offices of her choosing, and a MAN i know catches me with his eye. this man has a pinched voice and is very touchy-feely. at this point i realize i am JOGGING at an alarming rate away from this person and hiding behind the thick bushes along the parking lot. the man is out of breath and i think he has something important to say to me, but i like the bushes much more. the man goes back inside and as he does a man's voice saying "CAN YOU UNDERSTAND!?" spreads its fingers about.

that is the end of the story.

in which i act like a DELINQUENT running from the law































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the digestive system >